


End of Innocence

by dr_fathead



Category: Handsome Devil (2016)
Genre: General fluff, M/M, this movie NEEDED a better ending, thus, voila
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23588350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_fathead/pseuds/dr_fathead
Relationships: Conor Masters & Ned Roche, Conor Masters/Ned Roche
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	End of Innocence

Ned’s first week back at school had been remarkable in its unremarkability. For the first time since coming to this damned boarding school, he had walked the halls without the stupid baying noise sounding at his back or hearing one slur, to his face or otherwise. Ned couldn’t decide whether the goodwill he was finally being extended was because of the $5,000 his speech had gotten the school or him managing to return the star rugby player to the pitch just in time to secure the championship. _KNOWING THIS FUCKING SCHOOL, DEFINITELY THE RUGBY_. The sigh Ned bite back as he pulled out his earbuds wasn’t out of malice, as it previously would have been, but felt more like good-nature ribbing, like an inside joke with a good friend. _LIKE A JOKE WITH CONNOR_. Where was his roommate anyway? Ned hadn’t seen Connor since he got back this morning, even though all his shit had been crowding their small room when he arrived. He knew Connor didn’t have practice, but beyond that he was clueless as to where the boy had hidden himself. Ned bite back his disappointment, anxiety beginning to swirl into solid form in the bottom of his stomach. While he and Connor hadn’t said anything, implied anything more, Ned couldn’t help but hope that something was building, especially after he had found Connor on Sirius. Before his thoughts could tighten anymore around his neck, Ned’s favorite Smiths song shuffled into his earrings, the familiar melody melting all nervous thoughts from his brain. All that remained was the lyrics, Morrissey singing directly to his heart. And Connor. He was always there too.

_you ask me the time_

_but i sense something more_

_and i would like to give you_

_what i think you're asking for_

Mr. Sherry’s class remained nothing short of barely controlled chaos that it had been before the midterm. Connor still sat closer to the back, laughing with Victor and his other rugby mates as Sherry explained the day’s presentation schedule. This week, they had all been instructed to memorize a monologue, something Shakespeare, to perform in front of the class. It seemed Sherry’s fascination with the playwright would endure throughout the remainder of the semester, even if all the old English just jumbled Connor’s brain. He had missed whoever was going up to present, too busy shoving back Victor to notice that it was Ned’s turn to perform his monologue. When Sherry called them out, to less than kindly tell them to shut up so the presentations could start, it felt like Connor’s brain short-circuited when he saw that it was Ned standing in the front of the room, waiting to begin. _NED_. Standing alone, Connor still marveled at how small he looked. The cut on his cheek had finally healed, the black eye faded, leaving only Ned’s blue eyes staring out from beneath his shock of orange hair. Connor’s mouth felt dry as Ned started his monologue, every biting joke he had planned to send back to Victor simply slipping away. None of that mattered as much as Ned. Even Connor could recognize, with his limited knowledge, that Ned was doing Romeo’s famous speech to Juliet, on her balcony. _IT SHOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND_ , Connor thought as Ned continued, _NED IS THE SUN. AND I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO TOUCH HIS CHEEK._

_i know what hands are for_

_and i'd like to help myself_

_you handsome devil_

_you handsome devil_

Sitting in their room felt more charged, nothing like the silence they had shared before. _AND SO FAR FROM THE DAYS OF THE BERLIN WALL_ . Instead, the silence stretched between their beds crackled with possibility, what could be. _WHAT I WANTED IT TO BE?_ Since Sirius and the rugby game and that hug, they hadn’t touched, had knowingly put a physical distance between themselves. It was their eyes that roamed, touched where hands couldn’t yet go. As Ned was doing his homework, he was aware of Connor peeking up at him, doing a rubbish job of pretending to be completing his science homework. Ned felt himself doing the same thing, glancing over and smiling with a shyness he hadn’t felt since… well since before Connor had transferred to school. When he had been alone. He didn’t feel so alone anymore.

_a boy in the bush_

_is worth two in the hand_

_i think i can help you get through your exams_

_oh you handsome devil_

Connor was tired. Fucking exhausted. It had been two bloody weeks since school had started and still nothing had happened with Ned. He wasn’t sure what he had expected when they returned, but it wasn’t this. He had, _RATHER STUPIDLY IT SEEMED_ , assumed that there would be more. He wasn’t imagining it, could he be? The longing, the tension between them was almost palpable. Yet still, they remained unchanged. If anything, there was a distance there now that wasn’t there before. And Connor was tired of it. As he squared his shoulders in front of their door, Connor decided today was the last of it. He knew Ned was in there, could hear the music he was playing. _NOW OR NEVER_. And his patience was always shit anyway.

_i crack the whip_

_and you skip_

_but you deserve it_

_you deserve it, deserve it, deserve it_

“What’s up with you? With us?”

Ned was startled up from his homework, shocked to find Connor standing over his bed, fists clenched and puffing rather hard. 

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since we got back, since term restarted, you’ve been distant. Why? What’d I do wrong?”

“What are you on about Connor?”

“Us Ned! Damn it, us!”

Us? _WAS THERE AN US?_

“Us?” If Ned’s head was chaos before, it was right scrambled now. He couldn’t believe his ears, half in disbelief that this was all some crazy nightmare. _OR HIS DREAM._

“Are you thick Ned? Yes us! I thought - while - since you found me - and ya know - I thought - us!”

_HE COULDN’T MEAN…._

“You don’t mean -“

“Yes Ned! I do. I thought -” Connor turned away, fuck, he had read the situation wrong. Ned didn’t fucking like him, didn’t see him that way. How could he have been so stupid? _OF COURSE HE WOULDN’T, HE’S HIM AND I’M JUST -_

“Connor.” Ned was standing now, both of them just facing each other in the middle of their room. Ned’s CD, a Simon and Garfunkel album gifted by Mr. Sherry, was still crooning in the background. 

“You’re an idiot mate.” Connor’s face fell and Ned quickly began to backtrack.

“Not like that, we both are, c’mon, I just didn’t -“ As Ned spoke, he stepped forward, reaching for Connor’s hand. When he grabbed it, Ned froze. Looking up at Connor, he realized this was the first time they had touched, since that hug after the match. It felt so similar, yet so different now. _HOW HAD SO MUCH AND YET NOTHING CHANGED?_

“Are you trying to say you like me?” 

Connor finally met Ned’s eyes. So blue and so trusting, turned up and shining at him. For him. Connor was never any good at waiting.

_and when we're in your scholarly room_

_who will swallow whom?_

_and when we're in your scholarly room_

_who will swallow whom?_

  
  


_you handsome devil_


End file.
